im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
