You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
