Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
