xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
