we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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