I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
God I need to hump something, right now.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
