I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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