Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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