shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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