Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
