i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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