I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
