If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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