(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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