i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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