This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
