they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
