Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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