they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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