It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
