If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
