you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
