the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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