He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
