Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
