I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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