So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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