im six kinds of drunk right now
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
