If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is Oprah even human
Randomize