When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
