i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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