The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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