My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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