I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
