brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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