just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
