Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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