Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
