just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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