Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
