I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
