she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
