Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
