let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
