when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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