I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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