why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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