His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
