wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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