So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Come see our sink grown plant.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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