Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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